A beginners guide to Brownie Points

BP

Brownie Points:

Definition: A system of currency used to reward someone (typically males) for tasks performed.

Symbol: BP

Earning: Brownie Points are rewarded in varying amounts for the completion of simple tasks. For example:

  • Cleaned the dishes: +1 BP. (Did you leave the pans to ‘soak’? -5 BP)
  • Flowers: +2 BP (Unless you are apologising for something, then 0 BP)
  • Noticed your partners new haircut: +3BP (Unless you follow it up with ‘how much did that cost?’ then -20BP)
  • Surprise Champagne breakfast: +5 BP
  • Remembered her birthday/anniversary: +10 BP (Unless you bought the card that morning from the petrol station, then -100 BP)
  • New Puppy: +50 BP (Every time the little critter chews her favorite shoes -10BP)
  • Expensive Jewelry: +100 BP
  • Proposal with Tiffanys engagement ring: +1000 BP (Note you only get 1000 BP’s the first time)

Inflation: -10% of the above amounts for each year of marriage.

Redemption: Brownie Points may be exchanged for rewards. For example:

  • Movie selection: Don’t want to watch Matthew McConaughey prancing around without his shirt on? – 5 BP
  • One hour of Xbox: Trying to 100% Skyrim? It’s gonna cost you. -10 BP
  • Designated Driver: Want to have a few beers at the works Christmas function? -20 BP
  • Night out with the lads: Your old uni mates are in town for one night only? -500 BP
  • Bachelor Weekend in Vegas: No matter how much you protest that the bachelor isn’t a ‘strip club kinda guy’ -10,000 BP

Penalties: Please note that Brownie Points can be lost as a result of undesired behaviors. For example:

  • Looked in the direction of an attractive female: -10 BP
  • Farted in bed: -20 BP
  • Used your phone whilst you were supposed to be ‘watching’ the Bachelor: -30 BP
  • Implied in any way (intentionally or not) that your better half could lose some weight: -100,000 BP
  • Called your partner by your ex’s name: -1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 BP
  • Called your partner by your ex’s name whilst in bed:Goggolplex BP


Note that I have yet to discover a similar system for guys to reward ladies, do please feel free to share if you know of such a thing. Also I’m sure there are many more examples than the ones I have shared, please help to improve this valuable resource and don’t forget to include the BP cost/reward!

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